In February we celebrate St. Valentine’s Day, a worldwide tribute to love and friendship. It is my opinion that love is a universal language relied upon by all human beings for survival in our times.
Our differences and unique characteristics exist on so many levels: emotional, physical, and linguistic, to name a few. As a result, there are countless ways in which we express our feelings.
We have all been exposed to what is classified as “affection”, vis-à-vis our familial history and interactions, personal relations, film and technology, and social media. Human history has effectively demonstrated that true love consistently overcomes all obstacles, and can transcend otherwise inflexible rules and limitations. As such, I would invite answers to the following questions: What do we really know about love? How does one define true love? Can one actually experience true love?
I believe that love is an element that conquers all adversity. Popular literature promotes, and many of us believe, the concept that love is blind, especially during moments of euphoria. This is a condition that does not let one fully appreciate or clearly determine the persons who we claim to love. At times, due to this condition, we will mistakenly tolerate inappropriate or disrespectful conduct by our partners. This conduct can degenerate into physical or emotional abuse, verbal or even sexual abuse, due to our failure to distinguish what love really is, and what it is not. Unwittingly, our core values are compromised and begin to erode, along with our concept of love.
True love, in actuality, includes the unconditional acceptance of the recipient and embraces their imperfections. It does not set terms or conditions, and will not attempt to make even exchanges with our feelings when offered. It is crucial for those in love to consistently express such love and their appreciation of each other’s efforts. Consequently, one will feel appreciated, and gratitude will blossom into loyalty and respect – two immeasurably important and necessary elements for a successful relationship. Unfortunately, oftentimes loyalty and respect are unfairly demanded in an undeserved or improper manner.
A few simple, but significant, examples of how a couple can remain attentive to each other’s emotional needs include: taking care of them when they are ill; ensuring that they have a breakfast, a lunch, or a dinner; demonstrating one’s pride and joy for their personal and professional accomplishments; providing support during times of sadness or adversity; valuing their dedication, devotion and efforts – no matter how small. Also, loving one another can mean accepting and dealing with other persons that form part of our lives, for instance our children, relatives and friends.
One should never neglect the necessary physical contact, and other forms of expression, that constitute love between two deserving persons. It is very important to physically embrace each other, tenderly kiss and caress, and to genuinely demonstrate your affection. All of the foregoing reinforces positive feelings and trust in a couple.
The conduct and principles described are difficult to exercise and adopt when they were not a part of one’s childhood and family history. Acknowledging their importance, and with patience and understanding, we can begin to learn and incorporate new ways to love, truly.
